Beckett's First Near Death Experience
by Mrs.DeppQueenObsessorGoddess
Summary: Cutler Beckett hates spiders. Always has, always will.


'Ello, all. I wasn't planning on updating my 'Beckett's First' series so soon, but I had a near-death experience myself - and I just had to write about it. What better way, thought I, than in a 'Beckett's First' story! Well, I was laying in bed a night or two ago, my head was resting on my headboard. All of the sudden, I see (well,sort of saw, my glasses were off, and I was ready to sleep, so i couldn't see much) a HUGE tarantula-sized spider running towards my head. My first instinct was to scream - which i did- and yell "WHAT THE F WAS THAT?!" Even though I knew very well what it was. Well, we still haven't found it, and have resorted to fumigating my room. I have to take refuge in the guest bedroom, but my Pirates collection - save for the posters on my walls - has moved with me (Even my cutout of Captain Jack - which I don't have...-shifty eyes-) So, that's what made me sit down, well into the night, and write this. I hope y'all read, review, and enjoy!

Insert your own disclaimer here.

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Cutler Beckett hates spiders. Always has, always will.

It was a wonderful, cool Caribbean night – which was very nice, since those don't come around too often. Cutler Beckett had had a tough day at work, and was ready to unwind in the sanctuary of his master bedroom.

Cutler had taken a relaxing bath –pictures- ……oh…right – he had taken a relaxing bath and dressed in his favourite pajamas. They were purple with vibrant green frogs and pink tiaras. On the butt, it read 'Property of the EITC' in that cool logo – I suppose that was this was the new fashion trend.

Pajamas aside, Cutler was looking forward to a well earned rest with his 'bestest friend', as he put it. He walked over to his big, four poster bed, and sat down on the side. He took off the pink bunny slippers he had been wearing.

"Stuffykins!" Cutler called, looking around his bed.

Silence.

"Oh, there you are, love. Speak up next time, so maybe we can get to sleep earlier." Cutler snatched up his teddy bear and held it close. He and 'Stuffykins' got all curled up, nice and cozy, ready for sleep to take them.

Silence.

Groggily, Cutler asked "What, Mr.Stuffy?"

Silence.

"What do you mean? What _about_ your – " But as soon as Cutler opened a tired eye, he understood exactly what Mr.Stuffy meant.

Sitting peacefully atop the cotton head of Mr.Stuffy lay a huge, hairy tarantula.

Petrified, Cutler quietly and slowly whispered to no one in particular "What – the french toast – is _that_?" Even though he knew quite well exactly what _that_ was, he couldn't help from asking the obvious.

'_I have to handle this like a mature adult.'_ He thought to himself. _'Now, just quietly and slowly move away, then I can carefully let it outside.'_

Suddenly, Cutler lept from the bed, did a flying leap to the bedside table on the other side of the room, and grabbed the first hard object he came in contact with – which happened to be a random book. Cutler bolted back over to the other side of the bed, only to find that the spider had disappeared.

For a minute Cutler stood there, trying to figure out where it could have run off to, his heart about to burst from sheer terror, when the beast poked out from under the covers.

In a sudden burst of terror, excitement, and the felling he just had had a heart attack, Cutler proceeded to slam the book down repeatedly, with all the strength he could muster in each swing.

"DIE! DIE! GOD IN HEAVEN, DIE! I HOPE YOU BURN IN A FUDGING HOLE OUTSIDE OF BURGER KING, YOU SICK-ASS WIERDO!" He screamed at the spider, which probably had died about 10 swings ago.

When Cutler thought his arm was about ready to break off from swinging that god-forsaken book, he decided to stop and see if this had any effect on the demon whatsoever.

Cutler lifted the book one last time to find that the spider was indeed dead. He used a spare cloth to brush it off his bed (when he stomped on it a few times for good measure), when he decided it would be safe to relax once more.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that, Mr.Stuffy." Cutler said, composing himself. He grabbed his bear, made sure the surrounding area was arachnid free, and let sweet, sweet sleep claim him.

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Thank you for reading another one of the many 'Beckett's First' series! Now, I know I've said this countless times, please review to show you care.

As a side note, anyone catch the Sweeney quote? Pm me or leave me a review saying so, and if you're right, you get cyber cookies! :D


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